I admit, I rant too much. But being that I'm in a forgiving mood, I'm gonna cut you a break.

How 'bout this: You go to the grocery store/Wally world, etc. and there's no good place to park, but you look at the front rows of parking slots- AHA! There's a perfectly good handicapped parking slot not being used for anyone. Here's the rules on this. If you're just going in to buy cigs or tampons for your emotionally disturbed old lady, DON'T EVEN THINK about taking that spot. However, If you're in a hurry to grab an armload of snacks for, let's say- the Superbowl, GO FOR IT.
I've seen so many people park in a handicapped slot, place the obligatory blue placcard on the mirror, then get out, lock the door and RUN into the store, keys in one hand, food purse or food stamps in the other, that I've gotten used to it.
Here's where us handicapped (Legitimate handicaps) get our due. ONLY WOMEN are allowed to do this if they have no real reason to use/obtain a handicapped placcard. Men, sorry but you're basically fucked and have no alternative but to find a nose-bleed parking slot.
Now, Women, WHEN a Handicapped man (ie. in a wheelchair or using oxygen) sees you using one of these slots and you can't give a good reason for parking in a slot WE PAID FOR, then you MUST show us your boobs, for up to 30 seconds or at least let us take a picture of them. If not, you must touch us in a totally sexual manner (unless you're ugly, in wich case the slot's yours). Non-Compliance will mean that you either give up, go back to your car and leave immediately or sign a contract stating that you will have some sort of sex with the handicapped person who caught you, wether they're male or female.

That's the rules. Read them, Pass them on. One day we'll be over all this and live in a utopian society. But since that doesn't seem to be happening in my lifetime, Fuck it- I'm gettin' as much poon as I can while I'm alive and kicking.

The King has Spoken-

-TheLawnMowerMan